Here I go Again

here it comes again,
that feeling i can't fight.
that overwhelming feeling of worthlessness
Try and fight it, girl!
but you can't. you never could.
Here i go again.

sat on the End of my bed,
telling myself,
you are Not this person anymore
you arE stronger than this.
but you aren't. you weak little girl.
here i go again.

pulling at my hair until it hurts,
screaming uncontrollably out of frustration,
you Don't have to do This,
you can be more.
but you're not. you're nothing.
here i gO again.

his face springs into my head,
his love into my heart,
and i Know, he's Enough,
he can stop me.
but he can't. no one can Ever save you.
here i go again.

i look around, Pictures, photos,
all of that girl,
worthless, stupid,
what are you even doing here,
why do you even bother?!
here i go again.

you know just how useless you are,
how pathetic you sound all the time,
how pathetic you are.
NO!
yes, you can't fight me, you will never win.
Here i go again.

she's right. that other me,
the one thAt haunts my thoughts,
the one that amplifies my self-doubt,
the one that tells you how you Really feel.
here i go again.

watching the criMson pain seep away,
feel the sweet sting spring through my body
oh yea, that's it.
this isn't right, this isn't healthy.
It doesn't matter, my darling.
here i go again.

will i ever be able to stop?
will i ever stop heariNg her?
will i stop believing her?
don't count on it, cupcake.
i don't want to Go again.

consumed by the self-hate she brings upon me,
that i bring upon myself,
stupid stupid girl.
i know she's right,
she always has been.
here you go again.