Lankadoodle

I was looking back at all my poems and my journal entries, and well some are expressive and others are not I realised they all had one thing in common. They were ignorant. I was ignorant. I realised how selfish I was. I had friends I constantly pushed aside (One in particular, and I hope he knows who he is). I complained I had no friends, to my friends who were always there! Without a doubt, they would drop everything and be by my side, especially when I told them I didn't need them, but they knew better. And even if they were in a different country, and I was going though a particularly tough time, they would write me a poem.  Because that's all they could do at that point, and it was all I needed. I don't even know if I thanked him for that.
Some would message me and not even complain when I took weeks to reply because I was too busy wallowing and being too self-involved to pay attention to anyone else. I liked to act selfless and kind but it's about time I stepped off my high horse and took a good look at myself.

I feel like I have lost them and I feel like I have deserved to. They deserves better than me and I'm surprised they stuck around for so long. I don't want this to sound petty or pathetic or like I'm looking for sympathy, because I'm not. This is me swallowing my pride and admitting this was my fault. I did them wrong and I'm sorry.

So this is going to be a really personal load of pieces coming up, which is quite unusual for me... I saw this challenge on Tumblr about writing letters to certain people but tumblr is full of people I know that I'm not particularly comfortable with sharing those sort of feelings with, and lets be honest, deviantart is full of a lot of feelings we wish we didn't have but need to express... It's supposed to be done daily but with my busy schedule and the fact that some of these will be hard to write, I'm not doing it on a daily basis, I'll do it when I can at a pace that is comfortable. I see a lot of it as a therapy sort of thing.... Get rid of some of these feelings I keep locked in a box I hope you enjoy reading them.... I hope I enjoy writing them

1) Your Best Friend
2) Your Love
3) Your Dad
4) Your Mum
5.1)  Your sibling 1
5.2) Your sibling 2         
6) Your dreams
7) A stranger
8) Your Ex-boyfriend
9) A friend that betrayed you
10) Someone you wish you could meet
11) Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
12) A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
13) The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
14)Someone you wish could forgive you
15) Someone you've drifted away from
16) The person you miss the most
17) Someone that's not in your country
18) Someone from your childhood
19) The person that you wish you could be
20) Someone who broke your trust
21) Someone you judged by their first impression
22) Someone you want to give a second chance to
23) The last person you hurt
24) The person that gave you your favourite memory
25) The person you know that is going through the worst of times
26) Past you from future you
27) The kindest person you know
28) Someone that changed your life
29) The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
30) Your reflection in the mirror



Sidenote: Number 20 was supposed to be: The one that broke your heart the hardest - However I've already written a poem about this: lankadoodle.deviantart.com/art… it is one of my favourites, but there is not much I can say about it. And given the nature of this challenge, 30 poems must be written, so for this purpose I changed the topic.

Was fantastic, no words can possibly describe the beauty I have seen... Pictures are worth 1000 words so keep your eye out for them!

Well well well... I started that April Poem month thing when I got home only to find out we wouldn't have internet for two weeks so I couldn't upload anything for 14 days! 14 poems I missed out on which was quite dissapointing as I was really looking forward to that...

Back at Newquay now though and it's getting more and more stressful by the day! I just want to be back home... Slightly horrible here...

April: National poem month.

A poem a day eh?

I wonder if I could do that...